We'll cannot avoid "friendly FOW" drawback unless JMM implements something like a "friendly/foe" system...
Talking about FOW, the Combat Mission's FOW management is not so bad.
Very long range : you identify cavalry or infantry
Long range : you can mis-identify crack or conscript troops
Short range : you perfectly know who is facing your troops.
For an enemy unit out of sight : a flag where this unit has been lately seen.
Out of your Commander's sight, you need -in addition- to wait for information send by an AdC... more expectation so more frustration... more stress !